‘’Beware of destination addiction: the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job or with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are’’ Robert Holden
The moment I saw this quote it resonated with me. In the manic society most of us experience we are often constantly immersed in thoughts that we should be further ahead in life than we are. We are addicted to the idea that the future is where our happiness is and have a need to get somewhere that doesn’t necessarily exist in order to feel fulfilled and to be ‘happy’. How many times do we say I can’t wait for Friday, or just one more day until the weekend. We are constantly focused on the future rather than the present and our goal is not to enjoy the day, it is to get through the day. But this type of thinking means that we are rarely present in the moment and miss the beauty of what’s often right in front of us. We often look for something or someone to cure our unhappiness with the belief that we are always one step away from feeling content.
The problem is that we set our expectations of happiness so high that we are left striving for something that is out of reach. Once we get what it is we want or thought we needed, we still aren’t satisfied and the cycle continues.
Another common and destructive daily habit that many of us possess is the tendency to compare ourselves to others. We compare our bodies, jobs, cars, houses, relationships and social popularity and by doing so pummel our self-esteem into the ground. There are an infinite number of categories which we can compare and an almost infinite number of people to compare ourselves to. But comparing ourselves to others is a habit with numerous shortcomings and does nothing but steal joy from our lives.
We should try to remind ourselves that we are on our own journey and remove ourselves from society’s definition of success. Some of the greatest treasures in life are love, empathy and generosity and these have no measurement. Your gifts and talents, successes and value are entirely unique to you and your purpose in the world.
Happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, it resides in ourselves and comes from recognising and appreciating what we already have. So don’t put off your own happiness hoping it will come tomorrow or the next day, focus on the here and the now and the rest will fall into place. You are right where you are meant to be.