Often relationships can break down for a variety of reasons. People can find that they stop communicating, that they stop making time for each other and that they begin to take each other for granted. Sometimes the pressure of work, or of having a family , can place a huge strain on a couple – and people can end of growing apart.
Sometimes one partner may have their own individual issues and this can be impacting a lot on the relationship. This could be something like an addiction – such as alcohol, gambling or drugs. Or it could be severe lack of self esteem and insecurities which can cause someone to become very low and to get very jealous and at times controlling of their partner. Perhaps one partner my be suffering from a bereavement, or some form of depression.
Whatever the reason, if one person is struggling, this can have a major impact on a relationship and cause people to get more upset with each other, argue more, or to become more distant.
Sometimes infidelity can be the cause of problems and issues within a relationship. One partner may have an affair, or be unfaithful on one occasion. Either way this can destroy trust and lead to a lot of problems within a relationship. Infidelity can be physical but it can also be emotional – for example someone may share more of themselves with another person outside of the relationship or talk to someone else about what they are feeling or experiencing. This can cause intimacy to grow outside of the relationship which can lead a relationship to shut down and cause a lot of distance / problems within it
Sometimes people decide that the relationship they are in just isn’t working any more. However often people want to try and work on their relationship, and see if they can improve it. If this is the case then the following can often help –
- Improving general communication within the relationship
- Being honest with each other
- Showing respect for one another
- Making time for each other
- Helping and supporting one another
- Working on intimacy
- Listening to each other
- Making one another a priority
- Talking about where you feel things went wrong
Sometimes people find it really hard to do these things on their own. This is where couples counselling can really help. It is a neutral environment where people can share their feelings and emotions with someone outside of the relationship. Someone experienced in the area of relationships and someone who will remain unbiased throughout the sessions.
Couples often start counselling when things have got to a really difficult place in their relationship. Counselling can of course still help at this point. However it is really useful to start counselling earlier if possible, and to begin the process before things come to a head. This can really help people. So if a couple are starting to have problems and their relationship is getting into difficulty, then it is well worth getting in touch and starting some counselling. It may sound scary but it can really help.
Often people think of couples counselling as the last resort. But it isn’t like this. It can be the right place to come and deal with things before their needs to be a last resort.
At your counselling service we work with a lot of couples. And we offer them flexibility when it comes to appointments – daytime, evenings or weekends. We recognise that life can be busy and it can be difficult to fit everything in. So if you or anyone you know would benefit from couples counselling please do get in touch. The testimony below shows how it really helps.
07590 663938 or info@yourcounsellingservice.co.uk
We found Hayley when we were looking for help to deal with some problems that were affecting an otherwise loving relationship. We weren’t sure what to expect from relationship counselling, and our main concern was to find someone who seemed down-to-earth and realistic, and who could connect with us and identify with our problems. This is exactly what we found with Hayley.
She quickly put us at ease, allowing us to talk openly without feeling judged, and as a result we both felt committed to the sessions. At times when things were tense between us, Hayley was great at giving us some perspective and even a bit of humour. She helped us to understand how our up-bringing, previous relationships and day-to-day stresses might be affecting us. One of our big problems was difficulty in communicating when things got stressful; Hayley helped us overcome this and see things from the others perspective. She was also honest with us, so that we didn’t expect things to get better overnight, or everything to always be perfect.
The most valuable things we got from the sessions as a couple were a much better understanding of each other, as well as feeling far more relaxed about talking things through together. Both of these mean that we now feel much better equipped to deal with life’s ups and downs, and much more positive about the future together”.
Anonymous couple – relationship counselling with hayley.