True contentment – what does that statement mean to you??
A lot of the work I do with clients is often about shifting perspective. For many people they struggle with what they think happiness looks like. They find it hard sometimes to let go of the vision they have of success or family life for example. They might believe that they need to be achieving more, working more or doing more. So much so that they lose sight of what is really important for them and what feeling content might actually be.
There is so much pressure in society to achieve. Whether that achievement be around money, property, job titles, fitness goals, friendships, social life, children, marriage – to be honest the list is endless. So many people feel the pressure to do more. To achieve more. To work towards more. There is this constant feeling that things aren’t enough or that things need to change.
You will often hear people talking about wanting to get a bigger house for example. Or wanting to earn more money or change their car. For many this is the definition of success. For others it might be booking holidays or working towards buying certain things. While others might base their success on being married by a certain age or even on the amount of children they have. Many people feel the pressure to conform to so many pressures that exist in society. Pressures that come from norms and expectations. Pressures that come from comparison and the messages that people might have heard growing up. Pressures that can at times feel too much for people to deal with.
For others success might be based on the amount of exercise they do – or on the clothes they wear. Whether it be size or labels. For some it’s the job title – maybe feeling the need to achieve more or to work towards a goal or a constant place of self improvement. Whatever it looks like – however it manifests for people. There is always a sense of things never being enough. Of things never feeling enough.
With my clients I aim to strip that all away and to talk about focusing on what they do have in their life. Not on this sense of ‘having everything’, but instead on being happy with all that they have.
Such a different way of viewing life.
Can you imagine what that feels like?? To be content with where you are right now? To be happy with what you have in your life ? To look around you and to not want to change anything? A big weight is suddenly lifted when that happens. And a calmer and more content place is found.
It doesn’t mean not working towards a goal at times, or not ever having goals or things to aim for. We know that there is a time and place for focus. There is always a time and place for change , and there is often time for trying something different.
The difference however is that there isn’t any pressure to do so. And the view is that even if things didn’t change. Even if there wasn’t a goal or some kind of change, a person would feel happy with everything around them right now. Just as it looks today.
This mindset brings relief. It brings calm and it brings clarity. Fundamentally it brings joy and overall it brings contentment.
If you can feel happy – whether you are single or in a relationship then you will always feel content and calm. If you can feel happy whether you have children or you don’t – then you will always feel content and calm. That applies to the amount of children too. If you can feel happy with your home and your surroundings then you will always feel content and calm. If you can feel happy with your job and all that it brings you then you will always feel content and calm. I could go on – the list is endless.
The key to contentment is being thankful with all that you have in your life and embracing all that comes with it. Knowing that you don’t have to change anything or to work towards anything or improve anything. They key to inner peace is knowing that everything you have is more then enough. There is no need to change and there is no need to put pressure on yourself to be more or to do more.
We all have the power to change things. And I am a big believer in changing anything that doesn’t make us happy. Whether that be relationships, jobs etc. But I am also a big believer in not putting pressure on ourselves to constantly change. If we can be truly happy with where we are right now then we will feel content. Knowing that if we ever change anything – it comes from a place of choice. And that choice makes everything easier.
Your life. Your rules. Don’t let anyone or anything change that.